How to Attract Attention

After three months living in Egypt, I have come up with a foolproof plan for all of you wishing to attract more attention and receive more comments on the street, in the market, or at any tourist attraction. Success guaranteed!

Follow these four easy steps:

STEP THE FIRST: Be obviously foreign (for extra points, wear flip flops or an iPod).

STEP THE SECOND: Be female.

STEP THE THIRD: Be blonde.

STEP THE FOURTH: Wear the FC Barcelona jersey you bought on spring break a week before their match in Cairo with Egypt's top football team, Ahly.

Sit back and watch the magic*, baby.


* And by magic, we mean even more stares from now both women and men, catcalls of "Heyyyyy BARCA," "Ronaldinho!! Messi!!" "FORCA BARCA," gesticulated death threats, and whispers of "...we will win..."