Sometimes it's fine; it rolls right over you, through you, past you, and you don't even notice it. Some days I don't mind it. But other times, it picks at me, wears me down. Sometimes I just can't take it.
But let's back up.
Last weekend we decided to head out to the area known Islamic Cairo, the center of historic Cairo. It's home to the (in)famous Khan el-Khalili market, and the world's oldest university at al-Azhar mosque. Islamic Cairo is known for being
I was told that Khan el-Khalili, and Islamic Cairo in general, would be an adventure. I guess in a certain way that was right.
Sarah, Jacob and I left a little after they did, with plans to meet up after prayer. That was really all we were going on.
None of us really knew the area. Jacob had walked through it once. We got out of our taxi, per Hammad's directions, we looked around. There was no mosque, just a very busy roundabout lined with shops selling bolts of fabric and odd-looking tubing. We called Hammad, who told us to "walk towards the mosque." I craned my neck and could see the minarets of at least four separate mosques. Huh. Jacob set off towards where he thought al-Azhar was, and Sarah and I followed. I was totally unconvinced of our direction, and as we dodged minibuses across a four lane highway, I was not really pleased.
An auspicious start. I have to admit that I've been getting frustrated--probably unduly--with following people through Cairo. It's really my own damn fault for not busting out a map and figuring out where we really should be going. But in the last four weeks here, I've spent a lot of time following people who may or may not know where they're going but say that they do. It's a guy thing, I know. And I really do appreciate them stepping up to get us to our final destination. Thanks, boys. I don't give you the credit you deserve.
But sometimes, when I'm picking my way delicately through the refuse-filled gutters of the streets, keeping my eyes on the ground to avoid oh-so-lascivious eye contact, only to look up and see my headstrong guide with a very bemused look on his face, I get frustrated. Today was one of those days.
But let's back up.
So it was loud. And I had a headache. And as soon as I stepped onto the street, it began.
It started as we were crossing the street. I was trying to dodge a minibus when a group of Egyptian men approached me from behind. I had gotten separated from Sarah and Jacob, who had safely made their passage, and was stuck in the middle of the street thinking skinny as cars whizzed past me on both sides. The men were standing next to me in a similarly precarious position, but they seemed to be focused on different things, namely me. Calling out to me, slinging various "terms of endearment" at me, and--I kid you not, straight out of Borat--"very nice, how much?"
The most common perpetrators of harassment in Egypt--and, I would argue, in most countries--are lower-class or impoverished unmarried males. The reasoning for this attitude varies, but a common argument is that the price of a dowry in Egypt is so high that many men remain unmarried into their 40s. Reading a discussion board in the "Stop Sexual Harassment in Egypt!" Facebook group finds suggestions on how to cure this social ill, many including facilitating marriages in impoverished areas. Some argue that if we raise living standards or alleviate poverty, harassment will cease.
I'm not sure that I buy this argument altogether; I think a change in attitude is necessary, as poverty in and of itself does not beget discourteous behavior. It's a socially ingrained attitude, and there's no clear-cut way to change it. While by no means do all or even most Egyptians condone sexual harassment as acceptable, there seems to be a sort of ennui about ending it. It's frustrating as a target of harassment not to be able to do anything about it. I've been told several times that I am a guest in Egypt, and must abide by their social mores and cultural habits. I generally have no problem with this, as it's not all that different from my own practices. But by ignoring the catcalls, degenerate stares and wayward touches, I feel like I am both condoning their behavior and encouraging the stereotypes of foreign women.
I've heard that even hijabi girls are not free from harass
But like I said: this day, it got to me.
I was vaguely annoyed that these men were ogling me as I was trying to navigate the street, but then one of them jostled me, bumping me into the path of an oncoming tour bus (which summarily honked at me). I stepped back, running into one of the men, who proceeded to scream "FUCK YOU!". He then set off on his own into traffic, but not without stomping on my leg in his rush to rid himself of me. Once traffic had satisfactorily cleared, I made it to the other side. I rolled up my pants leg, and saw that I was bleeding where he had run into me. I almost lost it right there.
And we still had a far ways to go, and we didn't know where we were going. As we tried to walk on the busy sidewalks, avoid stepping in bio-hazards and follow Jacob, a barrage of praises ("Nice ass!"), sweet talking ("So pretty!") and inquiries ("Marry me?") assaulted my right side. I did my best to keep my head up, or down, whatever the situation required at the time.
I didn't believe the girls who had told me that eventually you would reach your breaking point; I thought I was impermeable to any words thrown at me. But they were right: it wears on you like water on a stone and eventually, you cave.
And several times I almost did. The shopkeeper who traced an outline of my curves in the air with his palms? The two boys on the street who turned around and stopped when I passed? The man who followed me for three streets calling out to me? I almost lost it. Probably a good thing I didn't, though, because I'm not so interested in going to jail here. But after our 20 minute walk to Khan el-Khalili, I was in poor spirits, and not in the right frame of mind to accept and embrace the bustle that embodies that famous open-air market. I think I snapped at Jacob (sorry, Jacob). I was almost ready to hail a taxi and come back later, but I pressed on.
We wandered through the narrow streets filled with perfume shops, wholesalers and knockoff vendors. I bought two scarves; Sarah bought a fake Chanel handbag. The shopkeepers were
After awhile in the dark alleys of Khan el-Khalili, we tried to meet up with Hammad and Hafsa, who by this point were in Sayyidna al-Hussein, where non-Muslims are not allowed. We were
We had left our shoes in cubbies at the door, as you must walk barefoot in a mosque. Upon reclaiming them, upward palms were shoved in our faces from the men lounging in chairs nearby. We walked around a bit, and then left. Almost immediately Hafsa and Hammad called; they had just entered al-Azhar through a different door. We walked around the building and found them, sat in the mosque for awhile and took some pictures in the marble-lined courtyard. The sun was setting, and we decided to find some food.
On the way out, our "tour guide" was trying to hustle a nice German couple who was insisting that they didn't want a tour--but ended up with one anyway. Again, it's tough to be anonymous in Cairo; due to my mood, this hustling was irritating me more so than usual. I tried to recognize it for what it was and move on, but it was hard to do.
After negotiating some major crowds around the mosque again (Hafsa and Hammad went back to pray), meeting some Egyptian kids who were very interested in us, watching Hafsa have to fight her way through a throng of women at the female entrance to the mosque, and haggling (and losing) with a taxi driver for the fare back to our dorms, we returned.
I don't even remember what we did that night; I think
In the subsequent days I've found myself still a little on edge, tolerance-wise, but I'm trying to work through it. I don't know if my comrades here are having the same experience. The word of the week is frustration, but it's slowly started to dissipate.
I'm not trying to paint a negative picture of Egypt; I'm definitely enjoying my time here. But let me reiterate: in this blog I'm simply describing the things that have happened to me, and how they make me feel. Some days are more difficult than others for me, but most of them are an easy breeze (metaphorically, not literally, although that would be nice given the upper respiratory infection I seem to have developed from the pollution!).
And when I feel so frustrated, when I feel like I want to give in, give up and get out, I simply remember:
To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield.
7 comments:
I'm almost glad I'm not there with you. I'm pretty sure I'd reach my breaking point for that crap a lot sooner than you would. I hope you're carrying that "lipstick" with you still!
Kari,
What's in the lipstick?
Aunt Casey
My poor friends who were red heads and blondes had it so bad...
I am not sure why it is that American guys dont have those same characteristics. Probably just afraid of women, I remember wanting to come home to that! lol
Best story was one guy who come up to my friend Bri and said "Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name?"
Yes, like the songs lyrics
No Cairo visits for Jake...we don't want him in an Egyptian jail, either!
As you said, Kari, it is a characteristic of areas of poverty. It happens in the US as well, in the 'hoods and such, though not nearly to the same extent for a variety of reasons.
I'd send you a nice switchblade or a pair of brass knuckles if I didn't think they'd land you in a rickety jail cell somewhere in Egypt. Failing that option, hold your head high. Not your fault that the Egyptians recognize astounding beauty when they see it (and subsequently feel compelled to tell you). After all, you're hot! How much?
Honoring diversity can be a real test of character if the diverse individuals are assholes.
There seem to be several organizations devoted to sexual harassment in Egypt; my conclusion is that you're not the only victim and that someone may have determined a strategy to deal with street bums.
Lest I be touched with the non-PC brush, I hasten to assure you that painting the offenders with your lipstick might be misinterpreted. Carry a Leki stick with an ice point to make your intentions clear.
Bill
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